An Open Letter To My Current Self
Safe Access
I know we grew up feeling alone and being told everything we are is wrong and that we have to be more manly for the family.
And now that we are old and we’ve still not changed but we do the manly stuff like earning for the family and putting food on their plates, and we’re still somehow not doing enough. And we hate our family to make us feel this way. For not giving us a choice. For not figuring out their own lives instead of putting the entire responsibility of not only our lives but theirs.
We hate them even if there are times when they love us so dearly. When they don’t make you feel less. When they appreciate you for doing the tiniest thing for them. As if you’re only worthy of their love if you are of some use to them. As long as you’re doing what is expected of you.
But you know what, one day they will be gone, and you will be left alone in this world to finally be able to do the things you always wanted to.
Maybe you will be 50 by that time. And by then you would have forgiven your family. You would have no regrets. And maybe you’d say goodbye to this world as a happy man and as queer as you always were.
Yours Queerly, Kaamdev
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