An Open Letter To My Younger Self

Dear younger me,

I know things feel like too much right now. The confusion, the fear, the anger, the love you’re not allowed to even think of. It is too much of a load for a 14-year-old to carry alone. You keep wondering why you feel so out of sync. If something is wrong with you, or worse, if you are the problem.

But here’s the thing, kid. You are going to be okay. Things will get better. Slowly, but surely. There will be nights you cry yourself to sleep, and not just for one reason but for many. Still, you will wake up. You will keep going.

You’ll cut your hair the way you’ve always wanted. Wear clothes that make you feel like yourself. You’ll find friends and teachers, a whole damn community, who see you for who you are and love you without asking you to shrink. When your blood family isn’t there, your chosen family will be. They’ll stay. And you’ll find love, real love, that reminds you, you were always worthy. You were never wrong. You were never too much to handle. The world just didn’t know what to do with someone like you.

You won’t be a wallflower in college. You’ll step up, use your voice, and make a name for yourself as one of the best writers around. You will get published. You’ll realize that no amount of A1s in Math or Science could ever give you the kind of joy writing does. Turns out, your talents were never in the places school cared about. But in college, finally, someone will see it. And that will change everything.

Take it one day at a time. Breathe. And trust me, choosing to live was the best decision you ever made. Because someday, you’ll be surrounded by so much love, that your small, brave heart won’t know what to do with it all.
Hang in there, kid. You will make it.

Love,
Future you ❤️